Yes, it is true. The patriarchy still reigns (I believe balance is coming), and white heterosexual men still have the upper hand and generally more money. But I see the flip side too, that men have given up ownership of their own power in ways that really matter. They also (not women alone) need to reclaim their power, reclaim the right to their emotions, reclaim the right to vulnerability, and give themselves permission to feel sexual desire and have an erect cock with out shame.... but with that comes big responsibility and many don’t know how to be with their cock in this world.
What is your relationship to your sexuality? To own your power and own your sex means that you have a high level of self awareness and take responsibility for yourself.
Here is what a good relationship with your sexuality does NOT look like
-your cock is weapon; your relationship to it and use of it causes someone else harm, even psychologically
-it is something that somebody else needs to take care of (or relieve you of the palpable pressure in it)
-irreverent vocabulary, do you respect yourself and others? “Balling her,” “I need to pop a nut.” (my apologies if my vocabulary is irreverent to you, feel free to substitute words as you read on)
-begging, manipulating, staying in confusion
-addiction, obsession, the inability to be in high integrity with a give and receive in balance.
What a healthy sexuality looks like:
-your cock is a light wand, your desire a strong source of energy to use towards love
-enjoying the energy and pleasure and taking care of it. Maintaining it, managing it, learning how to raise it up through the body, using it for visioning, creative projects, to give pleasure
- when desiring to connect; offering to share it... an offering with respect to yourself and the other
-discretion; an offering to share joy and pleasure with not just anyone; with people that meet you and are wanting the same thing, that are worthy of you. (Please note: they are “worthy of you” is not in relation to pompous arrogance but in relation to self respect, self value and self worth).
-a self pleasure practice . . .
A self pleasure practice can look a lot of ways. The majority of men are watching sexual images on a screen and drop some fluid and then relax. Other men go the tantric route: they master their sexual energy, raise it up through their bodies, bathe their organs in light and power, boost their immune system, fall in love with themselves, increase their magnetism, learn how to stay on the edge for hours and make love for hours, have multi orgasms, give ridiculously awesome pleasure and live longer. Yes, the latter does take practice, but it is a practice, like exercise or meditation. You create your pleasure practice based on what you want to live and experience.
A big piece in owning your power is knowing what you want and where your boundary is. What is negotiable and what is not. Noting when your boundary is crossed. Noticing when you give consent when it wasn’t within your integrity and reflecting on that. What did you want or get as a result? Was it worth it? Stay aware. Be curious about yourself. Don’t beat up on yourself. You are exactly where you need to be right now and choice is yours. Love yourself and hold your highest vision with you always. Charge your vision with your sexual energy whether the desire is of a sexual nature or not. The vision brings life to align with it.
Owning your power and your sexual vitality ultimately comes down to self love. When in an existential crisis years ago, I asked my teacher what my purpose was, and she responded, “Our purpose is to learn to love ourselves.” The beauty about this is that we can always go deeper and keep growing.